By Johnson :strip_icc()/bhg-tea-party-11717251-c954493c4d1e420b9cce5386a9c67e1b.png?w=1200&resize=1200,0&ssl=1 "Hosting an Adult Tea Party Will Make You the Diamond of the Season—and It’s Easy with These Pro Tips")
Key Takeaways:
- Start by choosing a theme, gathering inspiration, and deciding on details like location, guest count, and menu.
- Stick to loose-leaf teas, light finger foods, like scones and sandwiches, and charming tableware.
- From handwritten place cards to background music, small, thoughtful touches make an afternoon tea feel special.
Surrounded by warmer weather and seasonal blooms, you’re not alone if you’re feeling inspired to gather your friends and celebrate the end of a long winter. A romantic and elegant adult afternoon tea party is the most whimsical, Pinterest-worthy way to usher in the new season, whether you host it indoors or in the garden.
Afternoon tea parties have a rich history among the British aristocracy but are less common in North America. You may be familiar with this tradition from the ever-popular Bridgerton series or have fond memories of playful childhood tea parties. Either way, there’s plenty of room to make this elegant tradition your own (no gloves or fascinators required).
“A proper adult tea gathering doesn’t need to be grand—it needs to be graceful,” says Jamila Musayeva, a UK-certified etiquette coach and author. “With just a few thoughtful touches, you can create an atmosphere that feels both elegant and warm.”
For the inside scoop on hosting a dreamy tea party, three experts (including Bridgerton’s on-set etiquette consultant!) dished. They ~spilled the tea~ on everything you need to know about styling the table, curating the perfect menu, and the charming little details that will have your guests raving long after the last cup is poured.
- Jamila Musayeva is a UK-certified etiquette coach and author. She has written numerous books on etiquette, including ‘Afternoon Tea Etiquette,’ ‘Azerbaijani Tea Ceremony: The Art of Savoring Tea,’ and ‘The Art of Entertaining at Home.’
- Karl Von Ramm is the general manager of the Loutrel hotel in Charleston, North Carolina, and was instrumental in implementing its famous afternoon tea service, Lady Loutrel’s Afternoon Tea.
- Laura Windsor is a certified etiquette coach and the founder of Laura Windsor Etiquette Academy. She is a trusted advisor to celebrities and International Royal Families in Saudi Arabia, UAE, Kuwait, and Qatar. She was the on-set etiquette consultant for season 3 of Netflix’s Bridgerton series.
Gathering Inspiration
The first stage of planning any party involves vision boarding, researching, and establishing a theme—an afternoon tea party is no exception. Whether you aim to host a traditional British afternoon tea or create a completely personalized experience, taking some time to plan pays off in the long run.
Look up afternoon tea services in your area to find out what’s traditionally served, browse Pinterest for decor and menu inspiration, and visualize how you want the party to look. Will you host it indoors or outdoors? How many people will attend? What will the decor be like? How do you envision the menu? Do you want it to feel traditional, or will you take a more modern approach? These are just a few questions to help you get into party-planning mode.
Jason Donnelly
Creating the Menu
Tea is, of course, the star of the show here. But there are a few things to know before you steep your first pot.
First, traditional tea parties always use loose-leaf tea—never bagged. Typically, at least three different kinds of tea are offered: a black tea, a flavored black tea, and an herbal option for those who wish to avoid caffeine, says Karl Von Ramm, general manager of the Loutrel Hotel. Make sure to consult the steeping direction for each kind of tea, as different teas should be steeped for various lengths of time at different temperatures (hotter for black and herbal and cooler for green and white, for instance). Milk and sweeteners like sugar and honey are provided on the table, alongside thoughtful touches like lemon slices.
For the food, a traditional afternoon tea features a light menu comprised of three staples: fresh-baked scones, finger sandwiches, and various delicate sweets.
“Sandwiches are cut into small squares, particularly favored by the royal household, or rectangles and the crusts removed,” says Laura Windsor, certified etiquette coach and Bridgerton’s on-set etiquette coach. “Scones are served with clotted cream and preserves. Cakes, pastries, and cupcakes—the latter are more modern tea foods—should be small and mess-free.”
These courses are presented on three-tiered stands, where guests begin at the bottom and work upward—starting with scones and concluding with desserts. There are no strict rules regarding the menu, so feel free to abandon these traditions or put your spin on them: You can replace the mini finger sandwiches with bite-sized quiches, bruschetta, or mini lobster rolls. Remember to keep the menu light and refreshing, and if you’re sticking to tradition, ensure all the accompaniments are small and can be eaten with your fingers—never a fork, Windsor says.
Afternoon Tea vs. High Tea
High tea and afternoon tea are often used interchangeably, but they’re not the same. The British working class established high tea as a quick sustenance after the workday ended, frequently occurring at pubs on high tables (hence the name). It is usually associated with a full, hearty meal and is considered informal.
On the other hand, afternoon tea is more formal, established by the aristocracy. It is traditionally served between 12 and 4 p.m., with a light menu consisting of scones, cakes, and finger sandwiches.
Setting the Scene (and Table)
Begin by building your dreamy tablescape and work your way out from there. A clean white tablecloth, whether linen or cotton, instantly sets the stage and changes the tone of the gathering, Musayeva says. Add fresh linen napkins, small bouquets of seasonal flowers, and some candles to the table for ambiance. Antique decorations that fit the theme of your gathering can also make thoughtful additions to the table—just ensure you’re mindful of their height, keeping them low enough for easy conversation. We’re not going for towering candelabras or tall candlesticks here.
Set the table using real tea cups (not mugs) and matching china (although Musayeva concedes that mismatched sets can look charming when done intentionally). If you plan a traditional afternoon tea menu, you’ll need a dinner plate, salad plate, bread plate, teacup, water glass, and silverware for each setting.
“Have fun with decorations, but keep it classy,” Von Ramm says. “Afternoon tea was established by the landed gentry and aristocracy, so the more elegant and tasteful decor you can put on the table, the more you can impress your guests.”
Don’t Forget the Little Details
Lastly, remember that the charm lies in the details. Handwritten place cards, soft background music, and a welcome drink of sparkling water or champagne upon arrival—these are the elements that will make your gathering truly memorable. Encourage your guests to dress a bit classy to enhance the event and create an enjoyable atmosphere. A simple phrase like “tea party attire” or “garden party chic” on the invitations can help set the mood without being overly restrictive, Musayeva says.
Most importantly, do your best to enjoy your own party. A relaxed host makes an event more fun for everyone.
“Don’t fuss if something goes off-plan. Spilled tea or a forgotten spoon is nothing compared to warm conversation and thoughtful company,” Musayeva says. “The art of tea is not in formality. It’s in the feeling—a sense of care, of attentiveness. That’s what makes a tea party memorable.”